to continue about money... I find it interesting that everything good can be used as a weapon. Sex, love, money, words, God.  The only way it can't be is if it comes from love. And I know alot of people consider themselves loving people,and I can only speak from myself, but  alot of times when I thought I was being "loving" I was really being controlling.

I even think about the point I made in my last post about how I paid people not to beat me. Even that is controlling, or the illusion of control. Because lately I really am starting to believe that everything is and illusion.

Everything but love. LOVE is the only thing that is real and because love it truth if you really dig to get rid of anything that isn't love only the truth will stick.

I'm amazed at how much I have tried to control the outcome of any situation. Weather it be "if I just had money I would feel better" or" if I just had a boyfriend" or "If I just got that job."

LOL in all honesty, all, and I mean all, of my opinions were based on nothing. I literally think I made them up in my head and then pushed them so hard that I usually did get what I wanted, but it wasn't what I needed.

I thought if I was rich, if I was this that, blah blah and, and, and, I had all that all of it, and adulation on top of it. And guess what? I  couldn't feel any of it.

I had to strip away all of it, to get to the root of the problem. Just like an excavator, i dug and dug using different tools along the way, and when i got close to my core i only needed a slight brush.

And like with any treasure, the discovery usually brings money. And I'm ready for it, because it will all be used from a place of love.