That Pat Benetar song comes to mind as I write this. Where she sings something about how she is afraid to speak up for herself and then she says or maybe I'm afraid of my own strength.I think that is it with me. When I take care of myself it's like a power surge that i didn't know was possible. when I was 18 I was put on a jury. The kid that was on trial was a accused of driving the get away van for a another kid who mugged and old lady. I remember the judge looking me in the eye and saying that my decision had to be beyond a reasonable doubt. Well the cop that testified was so aggressive that I didn't trust him and the DA was a sleezeball. And more importantly, they did not prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt in my head. I was 'Not guilty and the other 11 people were guilty. They were all making their decision based on emiotion. Yes it was sad that the old lady got mugged but this guy wasn't being accused of it. Guess what? I turned that jury around. Their was so much doubt that I couldn't go for guilty. One guy said "what if he does it again? and i said what if he doesn't? what if he never did it to begin with. Reasonable doubt! I believed it with every fiber of my being . I didn't even have to fight them that hard. they knew I was honest and that I wasn't budging and they had no real basis for their guilty verdict. So not guilty he was. I am working really hard to bring that 18 year old girl back but this time i want her to believe that she deserves the same passion and commitment when it comes to her self worth, beyond a reasonable doubt.