Ok, I only have a minute cause I'm soooo busy getting ready for Minus 32 Million Words this weekend in nyc. Suecostello.com/calendar for info.   I had to write a few words about Mr Tyson. I saw his movie last week, and can I just give you the heads up, it's not  date movie. That being said, it was fascinating to watch. I almost felt a little embarrassed for him. I have followed his entire career but this movie helped me see even deeper into the mind that I already had a feeling was really disturbed. (spoiler alert do not read on if it will ruin your movie experience if I quote a line)  It all made to sense to me when he said that he was surrounded by leeches. He said he was a leech and they were leeches. They all leeched off each other. His ego needed the pumping and those doing the pumping were happy to do it  for a price. Now here he was doing it again instead of in the ring he was doing it in front of a camera. He had an horrific upbringing and was exposed to overt sexuality at  to young of age.  He was bullied and shameed,then he was a victim. As an adult he became a volunteer.  A child in  a grown mans body can be very dangerous. The way he talked about women and would not take any responsibility for the harm done to them was jaw dropping. But then, on the other hand, all he wants is love. He is the problem, but his ego won't let him see it. I had so many feelings watching this guy just sit in front of a camera and talk.  His trainer that he went to live with when he first starting boxing was just another exploitative abuser. He told him he was the greatest and let him live in his fancy house. Whatever, he did it for the money. He used him like and animal. And then when the trainer died, his self esteem died.  There in lies the deepest problem of abuse. They can only do it in the dark. They can only manipulate you with a weakness that you already have inside you. If you depend on anything on the outside of yourself  to define you you might as well swim with the leeches because it's the only way you will survive and survive is all you will do, you will not live, you will not feel love, you will not have fun or joy.  I always have hope that something will cause someone to change.  I was very sad to hear about the death of his daughter. The only good thing that can be taken from something so tragic, is an opportunity where pain can catapult someone to change. He has buried himself alive by years and years of hurt, that he created,  just so he didn't have to ever feel vulnerable again????  In the book the Road less traveled it says that often times the neurosis we created to avoid pain is TEN times greater than the pain we would have to feel if we just went through it. Ten times people....................

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